Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Braces (or Putting Your Suspenders On)

Meanwhile, the men are off in another room getting all fancied up.  I am in cell phone contact with Andy to time when the photographer is switching between the two rooms.  All photos by Angie Gaul at milestoneimages.us

Jason and Dan are wearing the socks Elise gave the men at her wedding.
As Dan says, "sock garters get you laid twice."

The crabby cuff links I gave Chris as a wedding gift.

Chris maintains that this is the worst haircut he has ever had.
This is what happens when you get your hair cut at supercuts all the time, but Chris refuses to spend any money on getting his hair cut.
He has actually not gotten his hair cut anywhere since our wedding.
I have been cutting my husband's hair for this entire first year of marriage.

Our best man, Andy.

Patrick and Brendan, looking super excited.

My dad helping my brother with his buttons.

Tim and Chris being adorable.

Makin Sure My Do is Did

We wake up early and head downstairs to the spa area to get our hair and make up done.  It is super expensive.  I feel really bad for the girls about this, but with the grandparents and wheelchairs, it is just easier to do it all in one place.  Hannah doesn't get her hair and makeup done but still looks fucking gorgeous in our photos.  The girls allowed me to give them random bullshit to put in their hair.  Cynthia lets me pay for her hairdoing, Morgan's parents helped her out with hers, so despite being ungodly expensive, our ladies are looking as beautiful as ever.  I wish I could have saved them some ridiculous expense, but everything went well anyway.  Our grandmas get all dolled up, I get a pretty braid, and poor Nancy has to go last so she has literally 10 minutes to get dressed and has to get her zipper up herself because no one is left in the hotel.  God bless you all.  All photos by Angie Gaul at milestoneimages.us

Cynthia was such a good sport, she wore this headband through the entire ceremony even though it was squeezing her brain and giving her a headache.

I loved this flower on my wife

I think this was Morgan's first time having her hair done all curly

Is it weird that all my favorite wedding photos of me are the back of my head?
I may have self esteem issues, but damnit my hair looked good!

MomMom is still angry

Nanny kept telling the makeup woman, "more rouge I think!"

Nancy getting a good daughter-in-law squeeze

Our fabulously feminine hair guy
God Morgan, you are so pretty!

We had my makeup airbrushed on so it wouldn't come off when I had sweat dripping off my face
I should seriously just get one of those myself when I have a bazillion dollars

In retrospect I would have had my lipstick a different color.  
It comes out really brown in the later pictures. Oh well!

Cynthia giving a good demonstration of some of her bridesmaids' gifts.
The applique belt I made, the necklace, earrings, and elbow length gloves.
The gloves were actually Chris' idea, I just want everyone to know that.

Special props to Cynthia for putting up with one of my minor Bridal Bitch moments.
Cynthia had on a large knit kind of shawl sweater over her dress.  For whatever reason, I guess because everyone else was wearing more of a cardigan, I decided to be like, "Can you wear a different sweater?"
And then I tried to dress her in my own black sweater that I had in our suite, which was obviously way too big on her and looked ridiculous, and I just told her to put her other one back on.  Cynthia was all sweet like "I don't have another sweater." And it really didn't matter, I don't think we ended up taking any pictures of the girls with them on and they didn't have them on in the church, so I don't know why I cared.  Chalk it up to crazy bride anxiety.  Even so, sorry/thanks to Cynthia for having to deal with me being an idiot bitch.

Jaclyn's curls looked really damn good if I do say so myself!

How Elise happened to have all these random black hair doodads is anyone's guess.
I'd also like to point out that "doodads" is apparently a word according to google.

I don't have a picture of Mima in here for some reason, but as she was getting her makeup done Elise and I come over to tell her how beautiful she looks.  Her response, ever the dry humorist, "It doesn't hurt to be good looking." One of my favorite Mima quotes.

Rehearsal Dinner

Some of the ladies and I went to get our nails done, and some of the men folk went off to do whatever.  One needed a new vest because the other one was too small, and I think the rest went to Dave & Buster's to hang out with some kids who were there having a bar mitzvah party.  We actually ran into my high school music teacher, Mr. Ezell, at the nail place.  He was getting a manicure.  Love love love my small town ridiculousness.


I go back to the suite we have for our wedding night.  I was going to share it with my sister the night before the wedding, the same as we did for her and Jason's.  I spent an absurdly long time in the large bathtub shaving my legs, listening to music, and just chilling out.  Then downstairs to dinner!
All photos by Angie Gaul at milestoneimages.us

MomMom and PopPop
Married over 65 years
Still Cranky

My darling Cynthia with Chris

Chris' Uncle Bill with his two boys

Chris cutting into his groom's cake.  
His mother got it in Maryland and traveled the whole way with it on her lap in the car.

Elise & Jason
By the end of the night we had drank like 23 bottles of red wine
The one bottle of white that someone opened was still half full
I may have finished it

Just like old times
Chris pouring us all glasses of wine

My mother really loves to snuggle
My brother doesn't really

This looks so much like old times at RPI it's not even funny
Laughing so hard we're crying

Fancy Nancy and Bruce

The boys checking out the cake

Awkward Bruce hugs are my favorite
He seriously is adorable, he doesn't know where to put his hands
Doesn't know how much he should be hugging me
In my head I hear his internal dialogue going like this
"This is my son's fiancee, I really shouldn't be pressed up against her boobs.
She's kissing my cheek... WTF?"

Wedding Drama 3:  Besides my flipout about the nativity scene, which was entirely pre-wedding week, the rehearsal dinner was by far the biggest problem of the weekend.  The Viana is a Feng Shui crazy place, so their restaurant's menu is Asian/Italian Fusion.  They are so snooty and expensive there it really is ridiculous.  I don't think we would have chosen it, except they were willing to give me a really cheap rate on the rooms.  $99 a night for wedding guests is ridiculously hard to beat on Long Island.  Chris' Mom thought that every other hotel we brought her to was "in the projects," so we tried to up our game a bit, as they were the ones paying.  When they came to visit pre-wedding they stayed at the Holiday Inn by my house.  It was over $150 a night and they didn't sleep at all because they were too near the train.  Sorry guys, it's Long Island, we're in Queens, trains come by.  I can practically see the train station from my bedroom window at my parent's house, that's just how it is.  She even still thought the Viana was ghetto because there was a gas station across the street and we were even in like Garden City... anyway!

It is a really small restaurant, like it barely has a full kitchen, much of the food is made ahead of time as far as we could tell.  We ate there for dinner twice, and neither times was it particularly speedy, but the food was good, and we couldn't beat the convenience of not having to take the grandparents anywhere else in the car with wheelchairs, etc., so we had the dinner there.  The sales person at the Viana had changed like 3 times over the course of when we booked things to when they actually occurred.  The first woman was a complete pain in my ass, the second guy was great, but he didn't last long, then the third person ended up being their assistant who had actually be there all along and had dated one of my friends from high school.  Anyway, I went back and forth with them for a really long time about the menu.  It was an expensive place and I wanted to make sure everything worked out okay if I was going to be spending that much of my in-laws' money.  Their menu is Asian fusion.  Asian usually includes nuts.  My co-matron of honor, my cousin Jaclyn, is deathly allergic to nuts.  I had to be very careful to make sure things went to plan.  We were only using the Italian dishes off the menu, there were to be no nuts anywhere near our food.  Jaclyn wasn't even going to eat any of the food at the dinner, that would have been far too risky, she was going to be bringing her own food, but just had to be able to safely breathe the air in the dining room.  

The hotel guy had even talked to me in person earlier that day to make double sure that my cousin was still coming and that she wouldn't be eating anything.  I said yes, but still NO NUTS.  When we sit down to dinner our first course, a caesar salad is sitting at each place setting.  There are nuts on top.  Not only are there nuts on top, but it's not even a real caesar dressing, it's a nut based caesar dressing, like sesame or something along those lines.  Thankfully, Jaclyn hasn't arrived yet, but my best friend Libby's wife is also allergic to nuts, not to Jaclyn's extent, but enough to be very harmful.  I run over to him and all but smack the salad out of his hands.  I am PISSED.  The chef is literally right in front of me because they have no real kitchen, just a buffet window type thing, and I try to calmly explain what the problem is.  He says no one told him about the nuts, and that's just how their caesar salad always is.  So I run over to the hotel guy.  He says oh my fucking god wtf, basically, and I hurry to call Jaclyn, hopefully catching her before she gets there.  I ask her if she can even come to dinner now that there were nuts in the room.  She says she should be fine as long as they're not peanuts.  What kind of nuts are they?  Peanuts.  She is in the parking lot in the car with her husband and baby.  She can't come inside.  My matron of honor who was supposed to be giving a toast at dinner has to turn her car around and drive back home.  I cry.  We try to laugh it off, but my boss and his wife, who were not invited to dinner but were staying there that night are having a cocktail at the bar and are seeing me lose my shit.  I am horrifically embarrassed, and sad, AND mad.  Angie, who knows Jaclyn and my sister already from having photographed them for other occasions understands.  Takes a photo of the offending salad and sends it to Jaclyn.  We try to laugh about it.  Dinner goes on, and it is pretty damn good, but still.  The hotel guy comes up to me after, holding a copy of the menu we had agreed on.  He is so flustered trying to save his ass that he points to the salad description and tries to tell me that it says cashews.  I'm about to tell him that even if it did say cashews, that would have been passable, but they are peanuts, when I take a closer look at the menu.  It says croutons.  Idiot.  

When I return from our honeymoon I try to get some recourse from the hotel people.  They take off the two meals that our guests were unable to come and eat, but that's it.  My mother-in-law is pissed and lists off a bunch of other things that went wrong, trying to give me some ammunition to fight with them about.  It just makes me feel worse that the dinner was so sucky, that things were cold, and they spilled meat juice all over her dress.  I could have lived my life without hearing those important details.  I get sick of arguing with them on the phone.  I stop trying.  Life goes on.

Jaclyn understands that it's not my fault, but I'm still sad about it.  I try to get her to give her toast at the actual reception.  She refuses, but gives me the paper copy to keep.  All in all, still an enjoyable evening, but still quite the disaster.

Wedding Rehearsal

So we packed up our car and drove to my homeland, Long Island.  For the rehearsal dinner, hair/makeup, and wedding hotel we chose the Viana in Westbury, NY.  It is definitely beautiful, definitely small and classy, definitely expensive, but it suited our needs well and the sales manager had slept with one of my friends from High School, so we went with it.  Everyone piles into town and we meet at the church for our rehearsal.
Photos one and five stolen off of Kristen's facebook, the others by Angie Gaul at Milestone Images.

Andy and Elise

At the altar with Deacon Rich

Patrick and Cynthia

Dan and Jaclyn

Jim and Morgan

Jim Scott

PC Men in the Choir Loft

My beautiful church

Dadoo

This go pretty well except I forget what order the bridal party is supposed to go in and end up having to search through my email on my phone to find a pdf of the program so I can tell them what to do.  My lovely Folk Group friends take time out of their day to serve as our musicians, and some of the boys from my a cappella group do me the grand favor of lending me their voices for the psalm.  As we go through the wedding saga, I'm going to label the wedding dramas, because really, everyone loves to hear about the things that went wrong.  These are in no way big problems.  We had a wonderful, beautiful, memorable day.  Only little hiccups happened along the way, largely thanks to our photographer Angie who knew when to herd the masses and when to kap a bitch.

Wedding Drama 1:  We were getting married two weeks after Christmas.  We had always wanted a winter wedding because we really hate to be hot, and there was no way we were doing spring or summer.  We chose the winter break because we knew at least one of us would be in grad school and wouldn't be able to miss class.  My church, St. Raymond's in East Rockaway, NY, is beautiful at Christmas.  The wreaths and trees are lovely, BUT, I hate poinsettias   I was hoping that some of them would have died off by then, but they hadn't.  I asked the deacon and pastor to let me move them for the ceremony and them move them back, but they wouldn't hear of it, not even after I tried to convinced them that Jaclyn was allergic to them, which is true, but not to the extent I was making it out to be.  The poinsettias stayed, they didn't look bad, I didn't fuss, and life went on.

Wedding Drama 2:  Our new church pastor put up this gigantic nativity scene the Christmas before.  As I It was about 3 feet tall and 5 feet wide (see picture above), had straw all over it, and had spotlights lighting it up with their wires taped down to the floor in front of the altar.  I hated it.  I seriously BEGGED the church to let me move it off the altar.  It was seriously huge, we couldn't stand in front of it at all.  My mom and I had noticed it the year before and had already been worked up about how it would look for the wedding.  I don't know what it was about this nativity scene, I guess I just thought it was ugly and gigantic and was getting straw all over the floor, but that added with poinsettias just made me snap.  I am not proud of it.  This was by far my biggest bitch moment of the entire wedding proceedings.  I begged Deacon Tom, my mother begged him, I explained that half my family was Jewish and having the wedding in a Catholic church at Christmas was already a sacrifice for them and I didn't want to shove it in their faces.  I actually CRIED.  In the Deacon's office with my mom and my fiance there, discussing our ceremony.  Something broke in me and the floodgates opened.  I was sobbing over this stupid fucking nativity scene.  The nativity scene stayed, life went on, the world continued to turn, but I seriously flipped a shit over that one.  My apologies to the church for being a total crybaby psycho.

Our photographer Angie came to the entire rehearsal the day before the wedding to check out the lighting and such, so I even have awesome pictures of the rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner... coming up!

Dual Login

Woohoo Google/Blogger have finally resolved the whole dual login issue, so I am now able to post at work while remaining logged in to my work e-mail.  Very exciting!  It occurs to me that I didn't do a post about our wedding, and as today is our 1 year anniversary, I think this is the perfect time.  Let's do a picture story!
While getting the pictures together for this post, I also noticed that I basically haven't posted about anything in the last two years, so I'll remedy that as we go.  I don't know how much you can put on one post with blogger, so we'll break it up into parts.

Thursday, May 3, 2012

The Milk's Gone Off!

It's been a long time since you came around,
been a long time but I'm back in town...

I've been meaning to get back into the habit of updating, but my constant reading regimen leaves me little time for actual writing.  Since the last time I updated I have; gotten married, honeymooned in Hawaii, watched my niece turn one year old, visited Boston, seen my grandmother pass away, applied to grad school, and acquired a piano. 

One of these days I'll get around to writing posts on all of those things.  But for now I'll just leave you with a little conversation I had with my sister Penny while I was helping her write a cover letter this morning. 



me:  well format how you like

well that's not my area
lol
my area is ease of reading
you're the one that makes it look pretty
bow down to the queen of bullshitting
the queen of refuseee
the queen of putresessence
 Elise:  BOW DOWN TO ER
 me:  haha
 Elise:  BOOOOOOOOOO
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
 me:  rubbish
filth
slime
muck
we are odd
 Elise:  a bit
 
Me love you long time <3

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Elise's Wedding

My sister got married this weekend.  It was fabulous.  Since my wedding day has not happened yet, so I have not yet had the happiest day of my life with Chris, Elise's wedding day has thus far been the happiest day of my life.  We had a wonderful weekend in Troy; seeing old friends, visiting old haunts, meeting new people, singing songs, dancing dances, and professing vows.  Since I've already given my maid of honor toast, and so many people complimented me on it, I figured I would post it here.  My sister and her new husband are off on their honeymoon and having a great time in the Florida Keys, so here's a little reminder of how much I love the two of them.

"Anyone who knows me could tell you that Elise and I are as close as sisters could possibly be,
but we weren’t always that way. When we were little girls, Elise absolutely hated me. I was the cute
baby sister that always got her way and never got in trouble. When I had stolen Elise’s Camping Midge Barbie or My Little Pony complete with swishing tail for the thousandth time and had once again inexplicably escaped punishment, Elise would yell and scream at my mother, asking why she had to go and ruin everything by giving her a sister in the first place. My mother’s answer was always the same.

“You may not get along now,” she would say, “But some day, you will be very glad that you have
a sister, just like I am. When I had you, I knew your father and I were going to have one more baby and it would have to be a girl because every girl needs a sister, and I would never deprive you of that.”

Many years passed and Elise and I continued to fight over everything from clothing, to perfume,
to computer usage. Thankfully we never had the same taste in boys. (Jason is all yours, Elise.) But my
mother insisted that if she and Aunt Nancy could survive sharing a room half the size of ours, and
sleeping in the same wooden bunk bed in Brooklyn all through college, that there was hope for us yet.

As it has become painfully obvious to me since graduating high school, and I’m sure she will
quote me on this for the rest of my life, my mother has always been right, about everything

To say that my sister is my best friend would be a horrific understatement. Once we left the not-
so-hallowed halls of East Rockaway High School and were able to choose our own paths and go our
separate ways, our paths refused to diverge. We attended the same school; right here in Troy, lived in
the same dorm, made the same friends, and sang in the same section of the same music group. She just
couldn’t shake me.

As many of us also know, Elise is not the easiest person to spend all of your time with, but she is
who I chose to spend all of mine with. From humble beginnings as sister rivals, our relationship has
grown from bunk bed partner, to friend, to confidant, to hair dyer, to cover story, to sober driver, to
board game partner, to harmony singer, to emergency phone call, to swing dance partner, to sanity
keeper, to mind reader, and finally, to maid of honor.

I was so happy to take this part in Elise and Jason’s wedding as I know that they will be for Chris
and I in six short months, but some of us never thought this day would come. I have to admit that I was a long time Jason skeptic. I may have even been president of the club and bought tee shirts, but I can also say with all sincerity that Elise’s faith in her relationship never wavered for a moment, not matter how much any of us shook it. She was more patient and resolute than I would have been by tenfold, and after five long years, she has finally married her soul mate. And there was much rejoicing.

I knew that Elise and Jason were going to get married when I spent Easter at the Kowalik’s house
a few years ago. We played games, and laughed, and ate great food, and decorated the lamb cake. It
felt like home. They already treated Elise like a daughter, and did the same for me even though they
had only met me that day. Thank you to Joe, Sue, Amanda, and Joey; I am truly blessed to be able to call you family.

So the one thing left to say to Jason is, “she may be your wife, but she was my sister first.”
Don’t be surprised when you move into your dream house, the big one with the wrap around porch
that Elise wants so much and your chickens pecking away in the front yard and you look across the way to see that your next door neighbors are me and the Sasquatch coming over to watch Big Bang Theory reruns. I would follow you to the ends of the Earth, and I love you both forever. My sister and my friend, to the bride and groom! (clink)"

Think I have a future as a writer?  Until next time, peace, love, and cookies!

Julibean <3

 
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