Moments You Wish You Could Do-Over...

For this week's fill in the blank Friday we're going to play a different kind of game.  Sometimes everyone gets a little pang of regret.  I've tried to live my life honestly so I would never have many regrets, but as always, a few slip through the cracks.  Here they are in chronological order:

1.  I wish I tried out for the stage musicals in high school.  I think I had a good enough voice but never really gave it all I had because of nerves.  Maybe acting would have been good for me.

2.  I wish I had done a better job of keeping a balance of boyfriend to girlfriends in high school.  I had some pretty great girlfriends in high school that I let slip away way too easily.  It is way too easy to choose sex over bitchy girl drama when you're 16.

3.  I am a huge over analyzer.  I've been trying to work on it lately, but I think if I just relaxed a bit more and let my relationships and feelings go with the flow, I'd have been a much happier lady.  It's times like these that I wish I had Morgan's ease of life.

4.  I wish I had the balls to break up with my first boyfriend when things started going downhill so I might have had a chance to date someone else who I really wanted to give a try.  But I've got to say, only one missed love opportunity for an entire lifetime is really not that bad of a record.

5.  I wish maybe Chris and I had taken things a little slower at first.  I'm really happy with how things have turned out for us, but I think there may have been more fun and less family drama and confusion if I had let things slow down a bit.  But you know me, full steam ahead or don't even bother.

6.  I wish I had played a sport or stayed more fit in college.  Period.

7.  I wish I didn't even attempt law school.  I could have had a much more badass Senior year at RPI and would have severely limited the stress-ors in my life that sent me "over the edge" so to speak.  Maybe I would have tried for a different master's program or maybe I would have gone in a completely different direction.  But we all take forever to really find out what we want to do with our lives, I don't think anyone ever really knows.

8.  I wish we hadn't pained the condo such ridiculous colors, or had at least maybe thought a little bit better about it or taken our time painting it.  Damn we suck at painting.  I'm definately considering getting professional painters the next time we have to attempt it.

What about you guys?  Anything you wish you could rewind and get a do-over?

Julibean <3

I like cupcakes

Hi! To those of you who don't know me, I'm Julie. This is my first official blog post on my first official blog! I graduated from a techie college this past May after spending three years on my Business degree, and went off to live at home for my first semester of law school on Long Island. I had always wanted to be a lawyer since I participated in mock trial in high school, but as I went through college, I began to think that it just wasn't for me, but the economy was shitty and I couldn't think of anything else to pursue so I went for it. To make a long story short... it was awful. I hated pretty much every second of it.

I moved into my older brother's old room in my house. It was much too small and cluttered and I filled it with far too large furniture. I had been depressed through my last semester of college, fueled by my anxiety about stretching myself far too thin, my LSAT preparation, and my general lack of direction, and it followed me to law school.

I didn't talk to anyone, didn't make any friends, didn't like my classes or professors, and in return received my worst GPA in my educational career. I was living 4.5 hours long distance from my boyfriend who then turned fiance that October. I hadn't been to a therapist since I had left college, hated the commute, and the parking situation was horrendous. I didn't really understand anything save from one class. Criminal law was my favorite with my favorite professor (the only professor I wouldn't have again the next semester), but other than that I basically wanted to curl up into a ball and sleep every second of every day for 5 months.

So here I am thinking, I wasn't sure I really wanted to do this in the first place. I don't want the lawyer lifestyle. I want to be a mother and a wife and spend time with my future children and husband. I always wanted to help underprivileged women and protect women's reproductive rights, and I was never going to make enough money to pay back my massive amount of student loans doing something like that. The fiance was already worried that I was going to be more stressed and more depressed with that kind of lifestyle and I couldn't help but agree.

During the last week of winter break I received my first semester grades. And it did not look good. I had gotten my first ever D and would have to take remedial classes with extra homework. That was so not going to happen. I had had it. So I withdrew. The parents didn't love it, it was a scary decision, and an expensive one at that, but I didn't want to get too much deeper before pulling the plug.

Over the past month I have been researching other graduate programs, applying for jobs, and basically sitting around. I stumbled upon a culinary school on Long Island and decided to give them a call. They had me come in that day and take a tour of the kitchens. I read the syllabus, and I was sold. I love to bake! LOVE IT. and this was my perfect opportunity to get the training I would need to pursue my lifelong dream of opening my own bakery. I had applied for a 6 month intensive professional pastry and baking arts program. Only one catch. I was wait listed.

I had applied a little too late and the class was full. I have been sitting around waiting to hear if I was accepted or not, not knowing if I should look for a full or part time job or what would happen to me in the next few weeks. In the meantime I visited the fiance in Maryland and picked out a condo that we will hopefully be making an offer on this month. I plan on moving there once I finished the pastry program and his lease was up on his apartment.

I was told to attend orientation just in case I was given a spot, I would already have been measured for my chef's attire. We met our teacher Chef Katie and received our syllabus. I could not have been more excited. The waiting was killing me. Luckily my admissions rep called today and told me I've finally been given a spot!

So here I sit, in my bed next to my sister writing up my first post. I have made a complete 180 in the past month. I'm going from law student to pastry chef and I could not be happier. Classes start on Tuesday so I have a few more days of freedom until then. Then it's off to my first week of classroom, learning about basic terms and baker's math.

This blog is going to serve as a chronicle of my time at bakery school and beyond. I'm going to face a lot of challenges in the next two years, but I really can't wait to start! I hope to succeed in the following:

1. Go to Pastry School, learn a lot, go on my internship, and enjoy myself.
2. Lose weight at the same time. This is going to be a toughie as I will be frosting things and throwing chocolate around all day every day. My anti depressant meds and general depressed/lazy stupor has caused me to gain almost 50 pounds in the past 8 months and I am not very happy about it.
3. Buy a condo with my man and move into it.
4. Plan our wedding that will be less than two years away on 1/7/2012. All we've got so far is the reception/ceremony venue booked.
5. Make some renovations on the condo and settle in.
6. Hopefully get a puppy!
7. Find a pastry job or business position that will help me pay the bills until I can find some relevant baking work and/or find investors for my business!
8. Get my sister and her man to move to Maryland. I can't really take living far from her for too long.
9. And last but not least... Marry the man of my dreams!!!

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek I can't wait!

Go FUCK yourself San Diego!

I mean... Making the world better, one cookie at a time

Julibean <3